turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
