Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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