Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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