Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
