I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
