People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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