you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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