Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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