note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
