You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
