Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
