She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
