when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
