As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
