last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
