I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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