You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
