If that was your dad, he is hot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
