i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
