She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
