I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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