Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
