Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
