i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
