You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
