Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
