apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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