Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
