I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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