You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
