I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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