At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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