I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
