He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
