Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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