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Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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