Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
