Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
