I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
