we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize