I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How external is "for external use only"?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
