you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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