I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
