If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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