What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
