Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I want to be your penis for a week.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
