its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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