He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
