I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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