i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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