I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
