Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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