Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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