After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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