At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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