The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
