I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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