16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
