I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
