wake up i wanna do it froggy style
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
