where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
