i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
