he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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