Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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