she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
